message about saltwater
Saltwater came out yesterday. I am really happy to be able to share it with everyone. I hope you enjoy it. I wanted to talk about some of the songs on it, and what they mean to me, or at least what I’m thinking about. i have these very specific meanings. it’s worth getting out there, i think. some people say that they want to keep meanings open, but i think that if you ask the right question, no one will ever have an answer to it.
Always On - this is a song about wanting something you can’t have. wanting to fall in love in a way that’s not possible or wanting to be somewhere that’s not meant for you. it’s about fantasy - the things you are denied, you create somewhere else in an abstract world. your abstractions become beautiful and immortal. like god or something. always on.
Charm - this is about the changing of the seasons, when the first day of fall comes and the first cold day of the year makes you remember all the old memories of winter. it’s like smelling a forgotten perfume. this is the first feeling of love, too, a kind of giddy excitement.
Ranks - I wrote it with my friend Josh Block. He had a book called “The Albatross - A Voyage from Victoria to England”, and we paraphrased it for the first 7 days. I added the bit at the end, thinking it would be funny if the boat became abandoned, washed up on shore, and a descendent of someone on the ship found it and reclaimed it.
One Note Pillow - this song is about envy. envying someone who lives for no one. it is also about the depressed, fearful side of myself envying the manic, indestructible side of myself. when you think about a smoke signal, it is actually a message sent straight up to the clouds or god or nothingness whatever you want to call it that other people happen to see - a one note pillow is the fire that makes the smoke. it speaks to other people, but it is aimed at the universe. this is like art.
Valencia - this is a song about being with Valencia for a brief moment, all the gossip that people talk about, wanting to escape, but realizing that there is no escape. when i’m talking about an airplane writing in the sky, it is like - god talks shit about all these people in the bible because they don’t like god. people do the same thing about each other - styles change. when i’m talking about Valencia swimming naked in the lake with the birds and the snakes, i’m saying, even the animals are eying her. it’s best to just not listen to it rather than fight it.
Deeper Feelings - this song is about how deeper feelings are covered over in day to day life. and that most love will fail, but every time you should at least try your hardest at it.
Irene - this is a story song about hurricane Irene. it was the hurricane that never was. i spent it at my friends’ house, and i remember watching my friends sleep while the half hurricane was going on outside. i felt like i was communing with them as i watched them sleep while these trees were bending like blades of grass in the windows outside. it made me appreciate them.
Saltwater - this is about a friend who decided to die. the people you let close into your life, they are you to some extent. the things they do, the way they treat themselves and the way they treat other people, if you love them, it becomes a reflection on the way you treat yourself and the way you treat others, for how you could feel close to something so radically different? at least, that’s the assumption i start the song off with. this song is a crisis point song where i become confused after this friend leaves. am i that cold or tormented? is this inside of me, too? i look to ishmael because moby dick seems to make sense out of every conceivable character type there is, particularly ahab’s dark ambition. i feel like the woodcutter in rashomon because “i don’t even know my own soul”. for a brief moment, i feel chaos (the brain is built to not be able to feel chaos). what happened? i end up thinking that people are wild. weather is the ether - time, the changing of seasons (forgetfulness) is the only thing that protects you from the world, like a sandbag against saltwater floods, towers of gray matter - the brain is just a bunch of nerves that cough and thunder and have this pain or whatever, howl or sadness or whatever you want to call it that can’t really be expressed, but you should just keep going. people will come in and out of your life. who cares why. it keeps things fresh. the assumption that i end with is that no one is me. and i am no one else. if you really want to love someone and let them be themselves, you have to realize that about them, even though it’s a lonely thought.
Long shot - this song is about ambition and how it separates you from the world around you. ambition can be for anything precious. your ambition doesn’t have to be for power. i think everyone has ambition for something, and the future is the engine that pulls it. it might not be obvious at to what it is for, but that is the thing that separates you from the crowd.